Maine Gym Teacher Aces Third Guinness World Record Title with Unreal Basketball Skills
In an absolutely shocking turn of events that no one saw coming, a high school gym teacher from Maine has somehow managed to secure his third Guinness World Record title. Impressive, we know. If we haven’t made it clear enough, this gym teacher is basically the Michael Jordan of educators. Who knew that teaching dodgeball and yelling at teenagers to do more push-ups could translate into such basketball prowess?
The renowned record-breaker, whose name doesn’t even matter because no one cares, reportedly sank a mind-boggling 1,516 three-pointers on the court. Yes, you read that right. 1,516. That’s more three-pointers than most NBA players make in their entire careers, but sure, let’s all bow down to the gym teacher with an unbeatable shooting stroke.
Witnesses of this incredible feat described the scene as both awe-inspiring and utterly ridiculous. One student, who probably skipped class to watch this spectacle, said, “I never thought Coach [Insert Generic Name Here] could make a basket, let alone break a world record. I guess all those years of tormenting us during gym class really paid off for him.”
Meanwhile, the school principal, who was likely more concerned with their next coffee break than the record attempt, congratulated the gym teacher on his achievement. “We are so proud of Coach [Insert Still Generic Name] for bringing honor and glory to our school with his basketball skills,” they stated, without a hint of sarcasm. Sure, because every high school dreams of being known for their gym teacher’s ability to shoot hoops, not for, you know, academic excellence or anything like that.
Of course, this amazing display of basketball talent has sparked wild speculation amongst the school community. Rumors are swirling about the gym teacher secretly training with Stephen Curry or receiving coaching tips from LeBron James in his spare time. Because clearly, the only way someone could achieve such a remarkable milestone is through top-notch NBA training, not, you know, practice and dedication.
In a show of unprecedented humility, the gym teacher himself downplayed his latest Guinness World Record accomplishment. “Oh, it was nothing, really. Just another day at the office,” he modestly claimed, as if sinking over a thousand three-pointers is just a casual Thursday afternoon activity. We can only imagine what he considers a big deal – single-handedly winning the NBA Finals, perhaps?
In any case, the world eagerly awaits to see what other incredible feats this gym teacher will achieve in the future. World record for the most dodgeballs thrown in a minute, anyone? Stay tuned for more mind-blowing achievements from the Maine gym teacher who can do it all.
