## A Digital Echo from the Past (and It’s Probably Terrible)
So, demolition crews in South Carolina unearthed a time capsule. Sealed with hope and ribbon in…well, who knows when? Apparently, it’s meant to be opened in 2033. Fantastic. Just what we need: another blast from the past reminding us of how naive and optimistic people used to be. I bet it’s full of Betamax tapes and a heartfelt letter about the future of dial-up internet.
And now, *this*… this *thing*, this language model they’re so proud of – let’s call it…Project Sparkler – is apparently the next big breakthrough in artificial intelligence. Seriously? Another one? We’ve got enough chatbots regurgitating vaguely coherent sentences to populate a small nation already. Apparently, its creators are beaming about how it’s “open and accessible.” Because *that’s* what we need: more free tools for generating slightly-less-terrible marketing copy and poetry that sounds like a depressed toaster wrote it.
I imagine the contents of that South Carolina time capsule will be far less irritating than Project Sparkler trying to craft me a haiku about my cat. It’ll likely involve something earnest, a declaration of hope for flying cars and world peace. Meanwhile, this new program is going to produce text so bland it actively lowers the average IQ of anyone who reads it.
And they’re letting *everyone* play with it? Wonderful. Prepare for an avalanche of AI-generated nonsense clogging up every corner of the internet. Just what we all needed. I’m already preemptively apologizing for any future, aggressively mediocre content that floods the web thanks to this… endeavor. 2033 can’t come fast enough; let’s hope those mall goers didn’t put anything too embarrassing in their capsule.
