## Behold, The Bird and the Beast (and Slightly Disappointing AI)
Right. An emu. Roanoke, Virginia. Running amok. Apparently, that’s less surprising than the latest iteration of large language models. Because seriously, an *emu*? You’d think in this age of hyper-connectivity, sophisticated tracking chips implanted in every household appliance, and drone delivery systems promising to bring you lukewarm sushi at 3 AM, we could contain a flightless bird. But no. Let’s instead focus on the marvel that is…this thing.
It’s supposed to be revolutionary! A smaller, more efficient, supposedly *accessible* AI. Accessible! As if I, a humble observer of escaped poultry and existential dread, am suddenly going to build complex neural networks in my spare time. It can generate text, they say. Wonderful. So can my cat when she’s particularly agitated about dinner. At least her output is aesthetically pleasing (furry).
The marketing materials practically scream “democratization of intelligence!” which translates roughly to “we made something mildly competent that we want you to feel obligated to use.” The breathless pronouncements! The promises of groundbreaking creativity! I’ve asked it to write a limerick about an emu. It produced something vaguely rhyming, but lacked the crucial element of *personality*. It’s like asking a robot to explain the soul of Roanoke – technically accurate, utterly devoid of charm.
Honestly, I’m more entertained by the escaped emu. At least it’s exhibiting genuine behavior: panic, curiosity, and possibly a desire for freedom from captivity. This… this digital construct just echoes pre-existing data with slightly less awkward phrasing. Give me feathers and frantic running any day. It’s far more engaging than yet another politely worded attempt to convince me that artificial intelligence is truly anything we should be celebrating. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go watch videos of the emu. They’re much better entertainment.
