## Salmon Wranglers: A Fishy Incentive Program
Right, let’s talk about this, shall we? Twenty-seven *thousand* salmon. Escaped. Like a scene ripped straight from a particularly chaotic aquatic horror film. And instead of, you know, addressing the systemic failures that allowed an entire school of pink flesh to stage a mass exodus from their confinement, what’s the solution? A bounty. Yes, folks, we’re now incentivizing recreational salmon hunting like it’s a bizarre game of underwater hide-and-seek.
Forty-five dollars per fish. Really? Because apparently the cost of preventative measures is too high, but dangling a paltry sum in front of opportunistic locals *totally* makes sense. I can practically hear the boardroom brainstorming session: “How can we avoid taking responsibility for this monumental environmental blunder? Let’s make it a community event! Everyone grab your nets and let’s turn coastal Norway into a salmon-catching carnival!”
It’s just…peak absurdity, isn’t it? A company that profits handsomely from raising these fish in increasingly questionable conditions now wants us to play glorified janitors, rounding up the fallout. As if chasing down slippery, silver torpedoes is going to magically fix the underlying problems of overcrowded farms and potentially compromised ecosystems.
I picture a future filled with grizzled Norwegian fishermen, hardened by years of battling storms, now obsessed with acquiring tiny fortunes one salmon at a time. They’ll be sporting custom-made salmon-spotting goggles and developing elaborate underwater tracking systems. Forget about cod! The new gold rush is on – the *salmon* gold rush. And I’m just here wondering if they’re offering a bonus for particularly large specimens. Because let’s be honest, with that kind of reward at stake, competition’s going to get fierce.
