## Florida’s Riverbanks: Now With Added Fishy Excavation!
Seriously? Invasive fish? Is *that* what we’re at now? Apparently, our delicate ecosystem is being meticulously undermined – not by a rogue beaver with an architectural degree, or some overzealous landscaping crew – but by…fish. FISH! I mean, where does the madness end?! Next thing you know, squirrels will be demanding municipal permits to bury their nuts and raccoons will file lawsuits for inadequate composting facilities.
These aren’t your average goldfish nibbling at algae either. These are *invasive* fish; presumably possessing an alarming degree of ambition and a complete disregard for established riverbank aesthetics. They’re digging holes! Holes! As if the world doesn’t already have enough holes in it, courtesy of, you know, *humanity*. Now we need to worry about aquatic rodents remodeling our waterways? Fantastic.
The wildlife officials are “investigating,” naturally. I can only imagine their solemn meetings: “Gentlemen, ladies, the riverbank is…disappearing. We suspect…fish.” A truly groundbreaking discovery! It’s almost as if introducing foreign species into a fragile environment might have *unforeseen consequences*. Who knew?
I’m picturing these fish now, tiny little aquatic engineers with miniature bulldozers and hard hats, meticulously sculpting their underwater empires. “More erosion, Jenkins! We need to undermine that cypress tree for optimal burrowing!” It’s ridiculous! Truly, a testament to our unwavering ability to create problems we then spend taxpayer dollars attempting to solve. I eagerly await the press conference announcing the deployment of tiny fish-sized construction barriers. Because clearly, *that’s* what we should be prioritizing.
