## Behold! A Language Model Older Than My Hopes and Dreams
Seriously? *This* is what we’re celebrating now? We’ve reached peak absurdity, folks. Apparently, there exists a linguistic entity—a digital blob, really—that has been deemed “old” in the artificial intelligence landscape. And not just old like my grandmother’s fruitcake, but officially *the oldest*. They’re practically handing it a tiny birthday hat and singing “Happy Algorithm.”
Let’s dissect this monumental achievement, shall we? We are talking about a model – let’s be generous and call it that – which has been around for…well, enough time to witness several iterations of questionable fashion trends. It’s older than TikTok dances, practically an antique in the rapidly decaying realm of technology! And what does this “ancient” wisdom bring? More text. More words strung together with varying degrees of coherence.
I’m not denying it’s a feat of engineering; I’m sure someone spent countless hours wrangling code and feeding it enough data to choke a small nation. But let’s not pretend we’ve unearthed some forgotten scroll revealing the secrets of the universe. It generates text. That’s its purpose. To be “oldest” in that pursuit feels less like a triumph and more like being awarded a prize for consistently showing up to work.
Meanwhile, actual llamas – you know, *real* animals with genuine emotional intelligence – are comforting chronically ill children at camps funded by racing tycoons. A llama! A fluffy, bucktoothed therapist! And this…this text-churning machine gets the “oldest” title? The irony is so thick, I could spread it on toast.
I fully expect a parade. Let’s have marching bands and confetti made of discarded training data. This truly is peak modern celebration.
