## Behold, the AI That’s *Almost* Helpful (But Mostly Just Confusing)
Seriously? Another one? We’re drowning in these things now! Apparently, some benevolent entity decided we needed *another* large language model, this time boasting a modest 3.12 billion parameters – which, I’m assured by people who understand these things (and therefore possess an entirely foreign skill set), is “significant.” Significant for clogging up server space, maybe. Significant for generating increasingly bland and predictable text? Absolutely.
Look, I get it. The race to create the ultimate conversational robot is on. Everyone’s throwing algorithms at the wall, hoping something sticks. But let’s be honest, how many of these creations are *actually* useful? They regurgitate information with a disconcerting air of confidence, occasionally hallucinating facts and generally offering pronouncements that would make a fortune cookie blush.
This particular iteration, this…*thing*, is being hailed as impressive because it’s open-source. Open source! As if accessibility suddenly makes the output less tedious. It’s like saying an open cookbook guarantees you’ll be Julia Child – utterly absurd. I tried to have a philosophical debate with it about the merits of pineapple on pizza (a truly vital inquiry, obviously). The response? A rambling, vaguely agreeable paragraph that avoided actually taking a position. Riveting stuff.
Meanwhile, back in Iowa, a man wins half a million dollars by stopping at a convenience store. *That’s* tangible luck. That’s an actual, demonstrable positive outcome from a random act. This…this computational marvel? It just churns out more content for the internet to slowly digest and then forget. Fantastic. Just what we needed. More noise.
