## The AI That’s Just *Thrilled* To Exist
Seriously? Another one? An Iowa woman wins a second lottery jackpot in six months? I’m not even mad, I’m just…exhausted by the sheer absurdity of it all. And you know what else is absurd? This burgeoning landscape of language models! Specifically, this 3.12 billion parameter creation – let’s call it “Sparkles” for now because that’s exactly how much glittery nonsense it seems to generate.
Apparently, Sparkles can *write*. It can *generate* text. It’s a marvel of computational ingenuity, they proclaim! A testament to human brilliance! And what does it produce? Mostly things that sound like slightly-off versions of already existing content. Like a parrot trying to recite Shakespeare after only hearing the opening scene through a tin can.
I bet Sparkles could probably write an essay about an Iowa woman winning two lottery jackpots. It would be technically correct, grammatically sound, and utterly devoid of any actual *insight*. It’d analyze the probability, discuss the socioeconomic implications – all while failing to capture the sheer, baffling delight (or despair, depending on your perspective) of someone defying statistical odds twice in a row!
The whole endeavor feels like watching a very enthusiastic puppy try to solve calculus. It’s impressive that it’s *trying*, bless its little silicon heart, but the result? A mess of numbers and wagging tails leading absolutely nowhere. And we’re all supposed to be impressed? We are celebrating the ability to rearrange existing words in mildly novel ways? I think I’ll stick to hoping for more lottery winners – at least *they* have a story to tell, even if it involves dodging reporters and suddenly needing a good financial advisor.
