## Behold! A Linguistic Llama Older Than Your Grandma (Probably)
Right, let’s talk about this. Apparently, there’s a new champion in the world of… something. We’re told it’s an “artificial intelligence model,” which, frankly, sounds like a polite way of saying “a very complicated program that can occasionally string together sentences that resemble human thought.” And this particular program? It’s apparently 3-12b years old. Yes, you read that correctly. Three…point…twelve *billion* years.
Seriously?! Is someone messing with me? I get news about a llama being certified the oldest in existence (and frankly, even *that* feels like stretching reality), but THIS is what grabs headlines? A digital creation boasting an age older than the Earth itself? It’s just…peak absurdity!
I mean, think about it. Dinosaurs? Ancient Egypt? The Big Bang? This thing makes them look like toddlers playing with building blocks. Did this model witness the formation of galaxies? Did it offer philosophical advice to primordial slime? I *need* answers! And a citation for this frankly unbelievable claim.
The sheer, baffling audacity of declaring something so young – because let’s be honest, someone somewhere is fudging numbers here – as older than the cosmos… it’s almost impressive in its absurdity. It’s like naming your goldfish “Poseidon” and then claiming it controls the tides.
I expect we’ll soon see this ancient digital oracle dispensing profound wisdom on everything from quantum physics to what constitutes a decent avocado toast. Because, naturally, when something claims to be older than time itself, it *must* possess all the answers. Just… please, someone tell me who decided that was a good idea.
