## Oh Good, We’re Paying People to Process Astronaut Feces Now. Fantastic.
Seriously? Three million dollars? NASA, bless your cotton socks and boundless supply of taxpayer money, has decided our biggest problem in the vast expanse of space isn’t radiation exposure, micrometeoroid impacts, or psychological breakdown from prolonged isolation – no, it’s *poop*. Apparently, dealing with what astronauts produce is a logistical nightmare. And now, because apparently we haven’t mastered basic waste management already, we need to throw another competition at the brilliant minds of engineering and biology to…recycle it.
Isn’t this just *marvelous*? I can almost picture the brainstorming sessions: “How can we best demonstrate our commitment to innovation? Let’s ask people how to turn human excrement into something… useful! Think of the press!” The sheer ingenuity of finding a new way to spend millions on something that feels fundamentally absurd is truly inspiring.
I’m sure the solutions will be breathtakingly innovative. Perhaps we’ll have tiny, adorable robots that diligently sift through astronaut waste and transform it into gourmet space ice cream? Or maybe genetically engineered algae that bloom in a shimmering cascade of… well, you get the picture. It’s all just so wonderfully optimistic!
Meanwhile, back on Earth, potholes remain unfilled, climate change marches relentlessly onward, and affordable healthcare is still a pipe dream. But hey, at least we’ll have a revolutionary process for dealing with astronaut… *byproducts*. Because that’s clearly the most pressing issue facing humanity. Bravo, NASA. Just bravo. I’m genuinely speechless (except for this rant, obviously).
