## Oh, Wonderful! Deer in a Fence – Because That’s *Exactly* What We Needed
Honestly? A deer stuck in a fence. Really? In this day and age, with global pandemics, political upheaval, melting ice caps, and the looming existential dread of… well, everything… we’re dedicating precious resources to freeing a woodland creature from its own questionable decision-making skills? I mean, seriously, did nobody stop to consider that perhaps the deer was *trying* to get stuck? Maybe it was an elaborate performance art piece about the futility of escape in late-stage capitalism. You know, something deep and meaningful.
But no. Instead we have police officers and firefighters – people whose training presumably equips them for dealing with, oh I don’t know, *actual emergencies* – meticulously maneuvering around a panicked deer to ensure its safe extraction from what is, let’s be honest, a perfectly serviceable fence. A fence! Built for containment! Clearly, the animal hadn’t received the memo.
And of course, there are photos. Glorious, heartwarming photos plastered all over social media. Because *that’s* vital information right now. We need to witness, in excruciating detail, this bovine blunder and pat ourselves on the back for our collective humanity. It’s so… uplifting! Just what I needed before contemplating my impending demise.
I’m sure they all felt incredibly fulfilled afterwards. “Yes,” they must have said, wiping sweat from their brows, “Rescuing a deer from a fence? That’s *exactly* how I envisioned spending my Tuesday.”
Meanwhile, the rest of us are just here, quietly observing this triumph of unnecessary intervention and wondering if perhaps we should all invest in extra-sturdy fences. For… you know. Just in case.
