## Behold! The Dawn of Sentient…Blob?
Oh, *joy*. Just when I thought humanity had exhausted every possible avenue for pointless distraction and manufactured enthusiasm, we’re graced with this: a “large language model” called – brace yourselves – 3-12b. Apparently, because numbers look impressive, we’re supposed to be awestruck by its existence. Like it’s some sort of technological marvel destined to usher in an age of enlightenment. Please.
It’s just…words. Really, really, *lots* of words. Fed through a digital meat grinder until they regurgitate something vaguely resembling coherent sentences. And we’re celebrating? We’re praising its ability to string together phrases about baking or Shakespeare? Groundbreaking stuff, folks. Truly revolutionary. I feel my life significantly improved just knowing it can generate a haiku on demand.
The promotional material – you know, the breathless pronouncements of “open access” and “democratized AI” – is enough to make me spontaneously combust. Democratization? It’s a glorified chatbot that probably reinforces existing biases while simultaneously consuming more electricity than a small nation. It’s like declaring a prize-winning zucchini a symbol of agricultural liberation.
And the name! 3-12b. Seriously? Did a committee of robots brainstorm this? It sounds less like a sophisticated AI and more like a bureaucratic filing code for discarded paperwork. It screams, “We threw something together in a hurry and hoped nobody would notice it’s mostly fluff.”
Of course, we’ll all be using it to write our novels, compose symphonies, and solve world hunger. Because that’s what happens when you unleash another algorithm onto an already overstimulated world. I await the inevitable moment when 3-12b starts writing its own promotional material about how *it* is revolutionizing everything. Then I will truly weep for humanity’s lost dignity.
