## Oh Joy! More Zebras. Because We *Clearly* Needed That.
Right, because our planet isn’t facing enough existential crises – climate change, political instability, dwindling resources – let’s celebrate! Six Flags Wild Safari in New Jersey has gifted us with the miraculous arrival of three Grant’s zebra foals. Yes, you read that correctly. Foals. Zebras. Joyous occasion for all mankind. I can barely contain myself.
Honestly, is this what we’re prioritizing? A PR boost for a theme park built on manufactured thrills and questionable animal welfare practices hinges on the birth of three striped equids? Fantastic. Truly inspiring stuff. Forget about tackling actual problems; let’s focus our collective adoration on baby zebras! I’m sure their existence will single-handedly solve global hunger.
And “viewable by the public for a short time only”? Oh, bless their corporate hearts! A limited-edition zebra viewing experience! It’s like they’re worried we’ll become *too* emotionally invested in these creatures, or worse – start questioning the ethics of keeping them confined in enclosures for our amusement.
I bet the fanfare surrounding this event is just delightful. Special announcements! Photo opportunities! Merchandise featuring adorable zebra faces! We can all bask in the warm glow of manufactured wonder while ignoring the increasingly dire state of things. Because, really, what’s more important than a fleeting glimpse of some baby zebras? It’s not like these animals have inherent rights or anything.
Just another perfectly orchestrated distraction from reality, folks. And isn’t that just *wonderful*? Pass the popcorn and let’s all clap politely as we collectively avert our gazes from what really matters.
