## Behold! Nature’s Triumph: A Feathered Doughnut Falls From Grace
Oh, joy. Another heartwarming tale from the wilderness to soothe our weary souls. Apparently, a majestic bald eagle – *symbol of freedom and all that jazz* – was recently “rescued” from a Missouri national park. And why, you ask? Because it was too… *checks notes* …fat to fly. Yes, you read that correctly. A creature designed for soaring through the skies, embodying strength and predatory prowess, grounded by an excess of processed snacks and probably a crippling weakness for donuts.
Isn’t nature just *marvelous*?
We’re told it was “injured.” Injured! As if being incapable of flight due to sheer bulk is some tragic accident of fate rather than the direct result of, let’s be honest, indulging in a buffet line designed for bears and tourists. I can practically picture this eagle, waddling around demanding extra chicken nuggets and complaining about the lack of gravy options.
And the public’s reaction? Outrage! Concern! *Sigh*. As if this isn’t precisely what we get when we romanticize nature while simultaneously littering it with discarded wrappers and encouraging wildlife to become dependent on human handouts. We build these pristine national parks, then feed the inhabitants junk food until they can barely lift a wing.
Honestly, I’m waiting for the headlines: “Overfed Squirrel Causes Traffic Jam!” or “Lazy Otter Blocks Canal!” Because apparently, we’re all surprised when animals behave in ways that are consistent with being pampered and overfed. It’s just *so* unexpected!
Perhaps instead of a rescue mission, we should be offering this magnificent, yet tragically rotund, bird a gym membership and a strict diet plan. Though knowing humans, it would probably end up on a reality TV show about overcoming adversity… one deep-fried Oreo at a time.
