Local resident Bob Maloney of Wisconsin had quite a shock when he opened up the hood of his car to do some routine maintenance last week. To his surprise, he found a 7-foot python curled up inside the engine bay. While most people may have panicked or been scared out of their wits, Mr. Maloney remained calm and collected. He simply shrugged his shoulders and said, “Well, there’s something you don’t see every day.”
When questioned about how the python could have possibly ended up in his car, Mr. Maloney speculated that it might have slithered in there while he was grocery shopping. Apparently, the python had heard rumors about Mr. Maloney’s impressive collection of potato chips and decided to hitch a ride back to his house. Clearly, the potato chips were worth the risk of being discovered and extracted from the engine of a car!
Animal control was promptly called to remove the python, but not before Mr. Maloney decided to take several selfies with the unwelcome guest. One can only assume that the python was equally thrilled to be captured on camera, as it flashed its snakey-smile for the phone. It’s now become something of a celebrity within certain snake communities on social media.
The python was quickly identified as a non-venomous species and was relatively harmless, however, experts have stated that it can be dangerous to handle such wild animals without experience – snakes become easily agitated and can turn dangerous in seconds. Unfortunately, the python suffered from a severe identity crisis and refused to reveal its true identity, insisting that it was just a really long piece of spaghetti. It’s unclear if this was an attempt to throw the handlers off its trail or whether it was genuinely confused.
After being safely removed from the car, the python was given a stern talking to by the animal control expert about the dangers of hitchhiking and invading private property. It was subsequently released back into the wild in an undisclosed location with a firm and memorable pat on the head.
When asked to comment further on the incident, Mr. Maloney cheerfully stated, “I guess I have a new claim to fame – the snake man of Wisconsin!” No doubt this will make for an excellent story for his next dinner party, where he can relax with his guests, enjoy his potato chips, swap python stories with other guests, and possibly even invite his scaly new friend to make an appearance.
