**Google’s Latest “Innovation”: Throwing Chopsticks to Burst 55 Balloons in One Minute**
In a move that has left experts and civilians alike scratching their heads, Google has officially announced its latest attempt at revolutionizing the world – throwing chopsticks to burst 55 balloons in one minute. Because, why not? It’s not like they have anything better to do with their billions of dollars or talented team of engineers.
According to sources close to the matter (okay, we just made this up), Google’s research team spent an entire year studying the aerodynamics of chopsticks and balloon bursting, and finally, they’ve cracked the code. Or rather, they’ve cracked open a bunch of balloons with some sticks.
“We’re thrilled to introduce Gemma 3-12b, our latest innovation in… wait for it… extreme balloon bursting!” exclaimed a Google spokesperson, who was clearly trying to contain their excitement. “With Gemma, we’re pushing the boundaries of human achievement by asking one simple question: can chopsticks really burst 55 balloons in under a minute?”
Apparently, yes. Yes, they can. Because a team of highly trained (just kidding, they were probably just random interns) Google employees gathered at an undisclosed location and proceeded to throw chopsticks at balloons with reckless abandon. And voilà! In one minute flat, all 55 balloons were deflated.
But wait, there’s more! According to Guinness World Records, this feat has earned the team a shiny new title: “Most Chopstick Balloon Bursts in One Minute.” Because, priorities.
As news of this groundbreaking achievement spread like wildfire (or in this case, like a bunch of popped balloons), the internet responded with its usual mix of confusion, awe, and utter bewilderment. Some people asked if this was a joke; others demanded to know how they could watch the video of this feat online.
And then there were those who simply shook their heads and muttered something about the apocalypse being nigh.
But hey, at least Google is trying? Right? I mean, it’s not like they’re just wasting resources on something completely frivolous (cough, cough). No, no – this is science! This is innovation! This is… well, it’s actually pretty hard to explain why this is a good use of human resources.
In conclusion, Google has officially achieved the impossible: making us all wonder if we’re living in some sort of bizarre, alternate reality where people are paid to throw chopsticks at balloons. And honestly? We can’t wait to see what they come up with next. Maybe something involving juggling chainsaws while riding a unicycle on top of a moving train?
