“BREAKING NEWS: Google’s Most Epic Fail Yet? Eggs from Rare Orange Lobster Hatch into… More Rare Orange Lobsters!”
In a move that has left scientists and seafood enthusiasts alike scratching their heads, Google’s latest experiment has resulted in the hatching of eggs from an extremely rare orange lobster. But here’s the kicker: instead of diversifying the gene pool or introducing a new species to the ocean floor, these eggs have spawned… more orange lobsters.
Because what the world was really missing was an overabundance of bright orange crustaceans clogging up the internet with their adorable yet annoyingly loud selfies on Instagram. I mean, who needs climate change solutions or breakthroughs in cancer research when you can have a whole army of orange lobsters to Instagram your way through?
According to sources close to the project (aka our intern who snuck into the Google cafeteria and overheard some hushed whispers), Gemma-3-12b was the codename for this harebrained scheme, which allegedly aimed to “unlock the secrets of the orange lobster genome.” Yeah, because that’s exactly what the world needed: more secrets unlocked.
As it turns out, the eggs were actually harvested from a single female orange lobster, affectionately known as “Orangey McSnappy” among Google’s elite research team. It’s unclear how Orangey came to be, but rumors suggest she was either the result of an accidental genetic experiment gone wrong or the love child of a lobster and a traffic cone.
When asked for comment, a Google spokesperson (who refused to provide their name because it was “on background”) described the development as “a major breakthrough in our quest for crustacean innovation.” When pressed further on what this meant exactly, they mumbled something about “data-driven decision-making” and “leveraging AI-powered lobster farming.”
Meanwhile, marine biologists are left scratching their heads at the sheer audacity of Google’s move. “I’ve seen some weird stuff in my time,” said Dr. Jane Smith, a renowned crustacean expert, “but this takes the cake – or should I say, the lobster?” She went on to speculate that the true purpose behind Gemma-3-12b was actually to create an army of orange lobsters to serve as Google’s new AI-powered personal assistants.
As news of the orange lobster invasion spread like wildfire across social media, internet users everywhere were left wondering: what’s next? Will Google start breeding giant squids with 5G connectivity or training dolphins in machine learning algorithms?
In related news, shares of Orangey McSnappy’s Instagram account have skyrocketed overnight, with fans and foes alike flocking to her feed for a glimpse of the majestic orange lobster majesty.
Stay tuned for further updates on this developing story, which is sure to leave you questioning the very fabric of our reality. And hey, who knows? Maybe one day we’ll wake up to find that Google has replaced all the world’s politicians with AI-powered lobsters, and the world will finally be at peace – or at least, as peaceful as a world overrun by orange lobsters can be.
