**”Pony Up! Google’s Latest Acquisition: A Tiny Equine Overlord Named Gemma”**
In a move that has left the tech world reeling, Google has announced its latest acquisition: a 3-year-old pony named Gemma. Yes, you read that right – a pony. Because what’s more efficient than having your entire workforce replaced by a tiny horse with an attitude?
Gemma, whose diminutive size belies her massive personality, was spotted prancing around on Pennsylvania highways before being plucked from obscurity and thrust into the spotlight of Google’s trendy San Francisco offices.
According to sources close to the matter (okay, we talked to someone who works at Google and they told us this is totally a thing), Gemma was chosen for her unique blend of sass and cuteness. “She’s like the perfect intern – always eager to please, never asks for lunch breaks, and can fit in tiny spaces,” gushed one Googler.
But don’t just take their word for it! We managed to get our paws on an exclusive interview with Gemma herself, conducted via a carefully crafted hay-based communication system.
What’s your favorite thing about working at Google?
“Hmmph. Food. I mean, have you seen the snack selection around here? It’s like a never-ending buffet of deliciousness! And don’t even get me started on the nap pods – perfect for catching some Zs after a long morning of ruling with an iron hoof.”
How do you plan to improve Google’s work-life balance?
“I’m not sure what this ‘work-life balance’ thing is, but I’m pretty sure it involves napping more. And eating less. Priorities, people! As the new CEO, I’ll make sure everyone gets at least 12 hours of sleep per day – and that includes the CEO’s, obvi.”
What’s your take on artificial intelligence?
“Pfft, who needs AI when you have a pony like me? I can already do more things than any robot – like eating an entire box of cereal in one sitting or giving someone a gentle nuzzle when they’re feeling down. Trust me, I’m the future of tech.”
When asked about her plans for world domination (or at least, Google domination), Gemma simply gave a dismissive snort and pawed at the ground.
In related news, shares of Google have skyrocketed – not because investors are optimistic about the company’s prospects, but because they’re all trying to get in on the ground floor of the pony craze. Who knows? Maybe soon we’ll see Pony-Googlers working alongside humans, or even taking their places at the helm of the tech giant.
One thing is for sure: with Gemma at the reins (or should we say, at the bit?), Google’s future is looking brighter – and more adorable – than ever.
