“Google’s New Year’s Eve Gift to Humanity: A Really Big Boom!”
In a shocking turn of events, Google has decided to kick off 2025 with a bang – literally. The tech giant has partnered with local authorities in Macon-Bibb County to implode a vacant 16-story hotel at midnight on New Year’s Eve.
Because what says “happy new year” like the deafening sound of concrete and steel being reduced to rubble?
According to sources, the decision was made after a team of Google engineers spent hours brainstorming ways to make the world more exciting. And by “exciting,” we mean “loud” and “explosive.”
“It’s all about creating a memorable experience for our users,” said a company spokesperson, trying not to grin too widely. “And what’s more memorable than a giant hotel imploding in the middle of the night?”
The chosen location is the old Bibb Hotel, which has been sitting vacant since 2010. We’re sure its previous inhabitants are thrilled to hear that their former home will now be reduced to a pile of dust and rubble.
But don’t worry – Google assures us that this is all part of its plan to “make the world a more interesting place.” And if you’re worried about the environmental impact, don’t be. The company has promised to plant 100 trees in the area as a “symbolic gesture” of goodwill.
We can only assume these trees will grow into giant earplugs to block out the sound of the implosion.
Residents are advised to stay indoors and cover their ears during the festivities, which will also feature live music, hot chocolate, and a countdown led by a team of Google engineers in fancy costumes.
So mark your calendars for December 31st and get ready to join in on the fun – or, you know, try to sleep through it while clutching your head in terror.
Happy New Year from Google!
