“Spanish Resort Town Decides to Get Their Priorities Straight: Blow-Up Dolls and Giant Penis Costumes Banned”
In a bold move that is sure to shock and awe the world, the resort town of Benidorm in Spain has taken it upon themselves to dictate what kind of costumes are deemed acceptable for tourists to wear on the streets. And by “bold move,” we mean “pathetically desperate attempt to regain some semblance of dignity.”
Apparently, the local government has had enough of rowdy bachelor and bachelorette parties ruining their otherwise quaint and charming town with an overabundance of blow-up dolls and giant penis costumes. Because, let’s be real, what’s more embarrassing than a grown adult wearing a blow-up doll as a hat or a 6-foot-tall pink penis as a scarf? It’s not like these people are trying to make some kind of statement about the fleeting nature of human life or anything.
The ban comes into effect immediately, and any tourist caught displaying one of these abominations on the streets will be forced to endure the shame and humiliation of being escorted out of town by burly Spanish men in matching sombreros. We can only imagine the looks on their faces as they’re dragged away, screaming “I’m a free spirit, man! I won’t be silenced!”
But seriously, what’s next? Are we going to start banning fanny packs and Hawaiian shirts too? It’s all just a slippery slope of regulation and conformity. Where will it end?
Benidorm’s mayor, Maria Rodriguez, defended the decision, saying “We’re trying to restore some sense of normalcy to our town. We’re not asking people to give up their right to have fun, but we are asking them to respect the community they’re visiting.”
Respect? Ha! It’s all about the blow-up dolls and giant penis costumes, Maria. You’re just jealous because you’ve never had a chance to wear one of those hats.
In related news, the town has also banned anyone from singing “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred in public. Because, let’s be real, that song is the ultimate party anthem, and no one wants to hear it more than 10 times in a row while stumbling down La Rambla at 2 am.
In conclusion, Benidorm has decided to take a stand against what they deem “inappropriate” attire, and we can only assume this means the end of an era for blow-up dolls as acceptable fashion accessories. But hey, who knows? Maybe the next big thing is giant sombreros with built-in margarita holders.
So if you’re planning on visiting Benidorm anytime soon, just remember to leave those blow-up dolls and giant penis costumes at home. Unless, of course, you want to get escorted out of town by burly Spanish men in matching sombreros. In which case, go for it! It’s probably the most memorable part of your vacation will be the 10-minute walk back to the airport with a bunch of confused Spaniards staring at you and whispering “¿qué es esto?”
