“Google’s Latest Masterpiece: A Cat with an Impossibly Long Tail Because, Why Not?”
In a bold move that has left experts scratching their heads and cat enthusiasts purr-fectly thrilled, Google has announced its latest achievement: a cat with the longest tail in recorded history. Meet Gemma, the majestic feline who has taken the internet by storm with her extraordinary 18.5-inch long tail.
We’re not sure what’s more astonishing – the fact that a cat can even grow a tail of this magnitude or the fact that Google thought this was worth dedicating resources to in the first place. But hey, when you’re a multinational tech giant with an endless supply of funding and a desire to do something, anything, to get people talking, why not create a cat with an impossibly long tail?
According to sources (okay, okay, we made those up), Gemma’s tail has been the subject of intense scientific study and careful measurement. Researchers claim that her tail is so long because of a rare genetic mutation that has caused it to grow at an alarming rate. We’re not sure what kind of genetic mutation would cause a cat’s tail to become 18.5 inches long, but we’re happy to assume it’s something exotic and sci-fi sounding like “Feline-Tail-Growth-Inducing-Mutation-Syndrome” (FTGIMS for short).
When asked about the purpose behind creating Gemma, Google spokespersons claimed that it was all part of their mission to “make the world a better place, one ridiculously long cat tail at a time.” When pressed further, they simply shrugged and said, “Hey, why not? It’s fun!”
And isn’t that exactly what we’ve come to expect from Google? A company that’s always pushing the boundaries of what’s possible (and what’s weird) with their products and services. Remember those self-driving cars that were supposed to revolutionize transportation but ended up causing more traffic jams than ever before? Yeah, this is basically the same thing but with cats.
As news of Gemma’s record-breaking tail spread like wildfire across social media platforms, cat enthusiasts from around the world flocked to Google’s headquarters demanding to see the magnificent creature for themselves. And by “flocked,” we mean they sent a flurry of tweets asking “Can I pet Gemma?” and “What’s her Instagram handle?”
Google has since announced that Gemma will be making public appearances at select cat cafes and events, where she’ll doubtless charm crowds with her absurdly long tail and adorable little face. And who knows? Maybe one day, we’ll all have cats with tails as long as Gemma’s and the world will finally be a better place (or at least, a more ridiculous one).
In related news, shares of catnip companies have skyrocketed as investors bet big on the growing demand for ridiculously long cat tails. And because what’s a cat without a little bit of ‘nip to go with it?
