“Google’s Brilliant Idea to Save the World (or at Least Detroit’s Libraries): Gemma 3-12b, the Ultimate Bedbug-Fighting Solution!
In a bold move to revolutionize the world of library services, Google has unveiled its latest innovation: Gemma 3-12b, a state-of-the-art bedbug-detecting device that will change the face of quiet reading forever. Because nothing says ‘quiet’ like the sound of scratching and scurrying in the background.
According to sources (okay, we made them up), Google’s team of top-secret geniuses spent years developing this marvel of technology, which can detect even the most elusive bedbugs hiding in plain sight. And by ‘elusive’, I mean the ones that are hiding under the couch cushion or in the crevices of your favorite armchair.
But don’t just take our word for it! We spoke to a librarian at the Oak Park Public Library, who was thrilled to report that their new Gemma 3-12b device discovered not one, not two, but THREE bedbugs hiding in the computer area. “It’s like we’ve finally found a way to make reading more exciting!” she exclaimed.
Imagine being able to say, ‘I’m not just reading a book, I’m on a mission to eliminate an infestation of bedbugs!’ The thrill! The adventure! The satisfaction of knowing you’re making the world a better place, one bug at a time!
Of course, there are some minor drawbacks. For instance, the device emits a high-pitched whine that can be heard from miles away, and it requires constant recharging, which means librarians will have to spend their precious time plugging it in instead of actually helping patrons.
But hey, who needs human interaction when you’ve got bedbugs to battle?! And let’s not forget the added benefit of creating a new breed of super-entomologists – people with PhDs in Bedbugology. It’s a whole new field of study! Who knew?!
In related news, Google has also announced plans to develop a new line of wearable devices that will detect bedbugs on your clothes and alert you before they even have a chance to snuggle up next to you at night. Because nothing says ‘romance’ like a warm hug from a bedbug.
So there you have it – Gemma 3-12b: the ultimate solution to the age-old problem of bedbugs in libraries. Because what’s more important than reading, researching, and generally enjoying the quiet atmosphere of a library when you can be simultaneously fighting off an infestation of unwanted critters?!
