**BREAKING: Oxford Librarians Overcome with Joy as Rogue Student Returns 20-Year-Old Overdue Books**
In a shocking turn of events, the University of Oxford’s Lady Margaret Hall college has announced that all is forgiven after a former student, known only by their alias “The Book Bandit,” returned three books that were a whopping 20 years overdue.
According to sources, the books in question – a collection of dusty tomes on medieval history, a worn copy of “The Canterbury Tales,” and a tattered volume of Shakespearean sonnets – were checked out in 2002, but never returned. The librarians, who had all but given up hope, were overjoyed to see the books walk back into the library, albeit 20 years late.
“We’re not sure what’s more astonishing, the fact that the books were returned or that they still had a valid return date on them,” said Librarian-in-Chief, Emily P. Bottomsworth. “We’re just glad to have them back, even if they do smell a bit musty.”
The former student, who wishes to remain anonymous, claimed that they had been “busy with life” and “kept meaning to return the books.” When asked what they had been doing for the past 20 years, the student sheepishly admitted to having spent most of that time “traveling, working, and eating Cheetos on the couch.”
Despite the egregious lateness, the librarians have chosen to forgive and forget. “After all,” said Bottomsworth, “20 years is just a blink of an eye in library time. We’re just glad to have the books back and to have avoided having to send out a team of highly trained librarian ninjas to retrieve them.”
As part of the agreement, the former student has agreed to pay a whopping £50 fine, which will go towards purchasing new books for the library. When asked if they had any regrets, the student simply shrugged and said, “Well, at least I didn’t have to pay interest.”
The library has announced plans to throw a party to celebrate the safe return of the books, complete with cake, balloons, and a ceremonial re-shelving ceremony. All are welcome to attend, except for the student, who has been banned from the library for life. Just kidding! They’re actually being invited to give a talk on “The Art of Procrastination and Extreme Library Etiquette.”
