**BREAKING: ALABAMA MAN STRIKES GOLD IN NORTH CAROLINA, WINS RECORD-BREAKING $100,000,000,000 LOTTERY JACKPOT WHILE ON VACATION**
Raleigh, NC – In a stunning turn of events, a luck-crazed Alabama man, Bubba “Lucky” Jenkins, 32, has won a whopping $100,000 (or allegedly that’s what he told his wife he won) in a North Carolina lottery drawing while on a romantic getaway with his sweet tea-sippin’ sweetheart.
According to eyewitnesses, Jenkins, a self-proclaimed “lottery guru,” had been playing the same numbers for years and had become a regular at the local convenience store, where he would buy his Powerball tickets and regale the clerk with tales of his (likely fabricated) past wins.
On Tuesday evening, Jenkins and his companion, Darla, drove to the nearest convenience store in suburban Raleigh, where he purchased a ticket for that night’s drawing. As they sipped on some Bojangles’ sweet tea, Jenkins allegedly declared, “I’m gonna win big, Darla! I can feel it in my bones!”
Fast forward to the lottery drawing, where Jenkins’ ticket matched all five numbers, securing him a cool $100,000 prize. Witnesses claim that Jenkins began to levitate, shouting, “I TOLD YA, DARLA! I’M THE LUCKIEST MAN ALIVE!”
When reached for comment, Jenkins attributed his good fortune to his “special lottery socks,” which he claimed had been passed down from his great-grandfather, a renowned lottery wizard.
As news of the win spread, locals flocked to the convenience store, hoping to catch a glimpse of the newly-minted millionaire (or at least, that’s what Jenkins told them). When asked about his plans for the winnings, Jenkins grinned mischievously and said, “Well, first things first, I’m gonna buy Darla that yacht she’s always wanted. And then, I’m gonna invest in a chain of ‘Lucky’s BBQ’ restaurants, where the lottery tickets are always free with the purchase of a pulled pork sandwich!”
The North Carolina Lottery Commission has confirmed that Jenkins’ win is one of the largest in state history, and officials are urging him to take his prize money and “not spend it all in one place.” When asked for comment, a commission spokesperson quipped, “If anyone can do it, it’s Bubba ‘Lucky’ Jenkins. That guy’s got more lives than a cat has lives!”
Stay tuned for further updates on this developing story, and in the meantime, keep an eye out for Jenkins and his “lucky” socks – they might just bring you good fortune too!
