**BREAKING: Cicada-geddon Hits South Carolina County, Residents Baffled by “Sirens” that Refuse to Stop**
In a bizarre phenomenon that has left residents scratching their heads, a small county in South Carolina has been overrun by an infestation of ear-piercingly loud cicadas. The insects’ cacophonous chorus has reached such deafening decibels that locals are convinced they’re being serenaded by an otherworldly siren or, quite literally, a never-ending tornado warning.
“It’s like they’re trying to shatter glass or something!” exclaimed Agnes Jenkins, a frazzled resident of Orangeburg County. “I was cooking dinner when I thought, ‘Good grief, the fire alarm is blaring again!’ But no, it was just those dadburn cicadas!”
According to reports, the sheriff’s office has received dozens of calls from concerned citizens, all asking the same question: “Why are the sirens going off nonstop?” When officers politely informed them that there were no actual sirens blaring, but rather an army of cicadas doing their best impression of a never-ending car alarm, the responses ranged from confusion to outright incredulity.
“I asked my husband, ‘Honey, did you hear that?’ And he said, ‘Hear what?’ I said, ‘The sirens!’ He just shook his head and muttered something about cicadas,” said a flummoxed Mary Wilson. “I swear, it’s like they’re trying to drive us all crazy!”
Entomologists say that the sheer volume of cicadas in the area, combined with their synchronized singing, has created a sound that’s been measured at an ear-shattering 100 decibels. To put that into perspective, that’s roughly the same level as a rock concert or a chainsaw cutting through concrete.
“It’s not just the loudness, it’s the persistence,” said Orangeburg County Sheriff, Charlie Hunter. “These little guys are like the in-laws who just won’t leave – they just keep on singing and singing and singing!”
As the cicadas continue their ear-piercing serenade, residents are being advised to stock up on earplugs, white noise machines, and patience. In the meantime, the sheriff’s office has set up a special “Cicada Hotline” for those who need to report (again) that the “sirens” won’t stop.
**UPDATE:** The local government has announced plans to hold an emergency meeting to discuss possible solutions, including importing a team of noise-cancelling ninja warriors or simply declaring the cicadas the official “noise polluters” of Orangeburg County. Stay tuned for further updates on this developing story!
