**BREAKING: FLEECY FIASCO UNFOLDS ON I-64 AS ROGUE GOATS AND SHEEP BRING TRAFFIC TO A STANDSTILL**
In a bizarre incident that has left motorists baffled and authorities bewildered, a massive herd of escaped goats and sheep brought traffic to a grinding halt on Interstate 64 in Virginia yesterday evening.
Eyewitnesses described the scene as “absolute chaos” as dozens of furry fugitives wandered onto the highway, causing multiple vehicles to swerve and screech to a halt.
“I was driving to work when suddenly, out of nowhere, a goat was standing on my hood,” said commuter, Jane Doe. “I mean, I’ve seen some weird things on the road before, but this was like something out of a cartoon!”
The marauding flock, estimated to be around 50 strong, appeared to be led by a particularly feisty goat named “Billy” who was seen nonchalantly munching on a highway sign.
“I tried to shoo them away, but they just wouldn’t budge,” said Virginia State Trooper, John Smith. “It was like they owned the place. I’m pretty sure I saw one of them doing yoga on the shoulder.”
As authorities struggled to corral the wayward animals, traffic backed up for miles, causing widespread frustration among motorists.
“This is ridiculous!” exclaimed one irate driver. “I’ve been stuck in traffic for hours! Can’t someone just round up these woolly menaces already?”
Meanwhile, local farmer, Bob Johnson, was seen frantically waving his arms and shouting, “Those are mine! I’ve been looking all over for them! Someone give me a tractor, stat!”
In a bizarre twist, one of the escaped sheep was found wearing a tiny pair of sunglasses and a fedora, leading some to speculate that the flock may have been part of an elaborate animal escape plan.
As the situation continues to unfold, officials are urging motorists to exercise extreme caution when traveling through the area.
**UPDATE:** The Virginia Department of Transportation has announced that the highway has been reopened, but not before Billy the goat was spotted giving an impromptu press conference.
“I just wanted to say that we, the goats and sheep, are not to be trifled with,” Billy declared. “We will not be silenced, we will not be corralled, and we will not be ignored. We demand better snacks and more comfortable accommodations. And also, can someone please turn off that annoying highway music? It’s really loud.”
