**BREAKING: Yosemite National Park Overrun with Used Toilet Paper, Tourists Traumatized**
Yosemite, CA – In a bizarre phenomenon that has left park rangers baffled and visitors bewildered, used toilet paper has seemingly sprouted from the very earth itself, blanketing the scenic trails and picturesque vistas of Yosemite National Park.
“It’s like a tidal wave of Charmin has washed over us,” said park visitor, Karen Jenkins, clutching her nose in horror. “I’ve never seen anything like it. I was trying to take a romantic hike with my husband, and suddenly we were wading through a sea of, well, you know.”
The sticky, crumpled mess has apparently been accumulating for weeks, with some areas of the park reportedly resembling a giant game of “Toilet Paper Twister.” Rangers claim that the used tissue has become an “all too familiar” sight, with some hikers even beginning to recognize specific patterns and shapes amidst the soggy chaos.
“I’ve started to think that some of the rolls are actually communicating with each other,” said park ranger, John Smith, shaking his head in dismay. “It’s like they’re trying to send a message, but all I can decipher is ‘PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY, BRING MORE WIPEZ’.”
As visitors struggle to navigate the treacherous terrain, park officials are urging caution and advising people to “tread carefully, lest ye get stuck in the Great Toilet Paper Swamp of 2023.”
Meanwhile, local businesses are capitalizing on the unusual phenomenon, selling “I Survived the Yosemite TP Apocalypse” t-shirts and novelty toilet paper-themed souvenirs.
When asked for comment, park spokesperson, Jane Doe, simply rolled her eyes and muttered, “It’s a crappy situation.”
