Philadelphia Unveils Grand Plan to Break World Record for Drag Story Time
In a groundbreaking move that has left citizens speechless (no, seriously, they’re too stunned to even form words), the city of Philadelphia has boldly set its sights on smashing the world record for Drag Story Time. Yes, you heard that right – Philadelphia, known for its iconic cheesesteaks and brotherly love, is now dipping its toe into the fabulous world of drag queens reading children’s books.
The initiative, which aims to promote diversity and inclusion in the most extra way possible, has raised eyebrows and sparked conversations across the city. Residents are torn between excitement at the prospect of witnessing such a spectacle and an overwhelming sense of disbelief that this is actually happening.
The event, which is set to take place in the city’s most flamboyant public library, will feature a lineup of drag queens who will be reading classic children’s stories to a captivated audience of wide-eyed youngsters. Rumor has it that the queens will be donning their most glamorous ensembles, complete with sky-high heels and more glitter than a Pride parade.
Philadelphia’s mayor, who is clearly determined to go down in history as the most fabulous mayor the city has ever seen, has thrown his full support behind the event. In a statement that had the entire city doing a double take, he declared, “It’s high time we break free from the shackles of traditional story time and embrace the fierce, unapologetic magic of drag queens. Let’s make herstory together!”
Of course, not everyone is on board with this daring endeavor. Conservative groups have expressed their outrage, claiming that exposing children to drag queens is a slippery slope that will lead to chaos, pandemonium, and possibly even world peace. One irate citizen was overheard muttering, “What’s next, a unicorn petting zoo in City Hall?”
But despite the backlash, the organizers remain undeterred in their mission to make Drag Story Time a reality. They have spared no expense in creating a truly unforgettable experience for attendees, with rainbow-colored balloons, glitter cannons, and a special appearance by a drag queen who can juggle flaming batons while walking in six-inch heels.
As the countdown to the event begins, the excitement in Philadelphia is palpable. Children are buzzing with anticipation, parents are frantically searching for their most fabulous outfits, and even the city’s pigeons seem to be cooing a little louder in anticipation of the spectacle that is about to unfold.
So mark your calendars, Philadelphia, because history is about to be made. Drag queens will reign supreme, children will be mesmerized, and the world record for Drag Story Time will be shattered into a thousand fabulous pieces. And whether you’re a fierce queen, a skeptical onlooker, or just a confused pigeon trying to make sense of it all, one thing is for sure – Philadelphia is about to get a whole lot sassier.
