Capybaras! Seriously?
Right, because what the world really needed was more capybaras. Apparently, Florida’s Palm Beach Zoo decided that existential threats like climate change and political unrest weren’t demanding enough of their attention, so they focused on…triplet capybaras. Three. More. Giant rodents. Fantastic. Just what we were all clamoring for.
I mean, dont get me wrong, baby animals are cute. But do we really need to celebrate the proliferation of semi-aquatic mammals when polar bears are clinging to shrinking ice floes? Is this supposed to distract us from the fact that zoos, however well-intentioned some may claim to be, still involve confining wild creatures for our amusement?
And the press release! “Thrilled!” they proclaim. A momentous occasion! As if the birth of three capybaras is on par with landing a spacecraft on Mars or discovering a cure for…well, anything actually important. It’s adorable, sure, in that vaguely unsettling way large rodents are adorable. But lets be honest, it’s also incredibly trivial.
I fully expect a photo shoot, a naming contest, and an inevitable merchandise blitz featuring capybara plushies. Because of course there will be capybara plushies. The world is simply overflowing with them now. Wonderful. Just wonderful.
