Snootlets? Really? Were Celebrating This Now?
Right, so Britain’s first elephant shrew pups have arrived. Theyve been christened “Snootlets.” Seriously? Snootlets? Did a committee of particularly unimaginative marketing executives get together and decide that was the peak of adorable nomenclature? I bet they had focus groups. Does Sparklehooves test well? No, try Snootlets. It’s got…pizazz.
Look, I appreciate conservation efforts as much as the next person (which is to say, not really when I’m forced to hear about them with this level of saccharine fanfare). But an elephant shrew pup, however novel it may be for British zoos, hardly constitutes a watershed moment in zoological history. Were apparently meant to lose our minds over creatures that look like they were assembled from spare parts by a committee of whimsical Victorian inventors.
And the constant gushing! Adorable! Delightful! A momentous occasion! Yes, it’s nice they exist. Now leave me alone and let me wallow in the existential dread of late-stage capitalism without being bombarded with pictures of miniature proboscis-bearing mammals. Im sure there are far more pressing matters to discuss – like, you know, actual problems facing the planet. But no, it’s Snootlet season. Just brilliant.
