A Serpent in My Ensuite: The Peak of Modern Annoyance
Right, lets talk about this. I needed to pee. Midnight. Not a particularly exciting event for most, I’ll grant you. But mine became an episode worthy of a nature documentary – specifically, one featuring unwanted house guests. You see, slithering through my bathroom, casually inspecting the tiled floor as if it were his personal reptile lounge, was a python. A large python.
Honestly! Is this what we’ve come to? Wildlife invading domestic spaces because apparently, basic boundaries are now optional for everything? Im fairly certain my plumbing bills will not cover relocation services for escaped exotics.
The sheer audacity of the creature! Did he think I was going to applaud his impromptu visit? Did he genuinely believe a giant snake appearing in your bathroom is an acceptable form of nocturnal entertainment? I’ve dealt with noisy squirrels, aggressive robins, even a badger once (dont ask!), but this…this felt personal. A deliberate insult!
I spent the next fifteen minutes herding it out the open patio door with a broom while muttering increasingly frustrated expletives. And now, I’m left to contemplate reinforced window screens and perhaps investing in a small moat around my property. Fantastic. Just fantastic. Because apparently, nothing is sacred anymore. Nothing is safe from…snakes.
