The Inevitable Triumph of Livestock: A Doorway to Despair
Seriously? A pig? Wandering into a house? Like this is some charming, rural anecdote we’re supposed to find delightful? I am thrilled. Absolutely ecstatic that our increasingly chaotic world has reached peak absurdity. Because apparently, maintaining basic property lines and the illusion of control over ones own domicile is now entirely optional.
I bet the family in South Carolina is just loving this. Probably framed the video and are selling Pig Intruder t-shirts. It’s wonderful for them! A free houseguest, a delightful disruption to their perfectly curated suburban existence. Meanwhile, Im over here diligently locking my doors, fearing burglars with crowbars, and apparently I should be investing in reinforced boar-proof barriers instead.
And the neighbor? Dont even get me started. Probably just shrugged and said, Well, Wilbur likes to explore. Explore?! My begonias “explore” when a snail gets near them! This is an animal that weighs upwards of, I shudder to think, something, barreling through a front door like it owns the place.
Its not funny. It’s a symptom of everything wrong with… well, everything. The breakdown of responsibility. The normalization of utter chaos. Soon we’ll all be living in mud pits and sharing our sofas with wandering livestock. And I, for one, am not bringing out the hay.
