The Absurdity of Modern Commerce: A Baby Monkey and Plushie Apocalypse
Seriously? This is what we’ve become? I just spent fifteen minutes refreshing a website, only to discover that every single plush orangutan they had in stock – every one! – has vanished. Vanished! And why? Because some influencer decided to film a baby monkey doing something vaguely amusing and uploaded it to the internet. Now, apparently, collective human consciousness demands we all purchase adorable, inanimate representations of said primates distant relatives.
It’s not even a good video, let’s be honest. It involves a tiny creature attempting to steal a banana and failing spectacularly. Groundbreaking stuff. But because it’s cute, fleeting, and easily digestible for the perpetually-scrolling masses, it has triggered a bizarre chain reaction of consumerism I never thought possible.
Remember when buying a stuffed animal was… you know… about actual animals? About fostering empathy or encouraging imaginative play? Now its about fleeting internet trends and jumping on the bandwagon to prove you’re in the know. It’s performative sentimentality, fueled by algorithms and desperation for online validation.
And the worst part is knowing this will happen again. Some other fleeting digital distraction will trigger a surge in demand for something ridiculous. We are puppets, folks! Dancing on strings pulled by viral videos of baby monkeys and the relentless pursuit of… what? A momentary sense of belonging? Its frankly embarrassing.
