Really? A Deer in a River? Seriously?
Let’s just pause for a moment, shall we? The world is facing actual crises – climate change, political upheaval, the existential dread of finding socks that match – and what do we get? Rescuers hauling a deer out of a New Jersey river. A deer! Because apparently, natures biggest problem isn’t habitat loss or pollution; it’s Bambi needing a little assistance after a leisurely swim went sideways.
I’m not denying the rescuers are probably nice people doing what they think is right. Im sure they feel wonderful about themselves, basking in the reflected glory of…saving a deer. A deer! As if this heroic feat somehow solves anything.
Did anyone stop to consider that maybe, just maybe, the deer knew what it was doing? Perhaps it was seeking refuge from some unseen predator or simply enjoying an unconventional dip. But no, we have to intervene. We have to “save” everything. It’s a compulsion, isn’t it? A frantic need to micromanage the natural world until every squirrel has its own miniature safety net and every fish wears a tiny life vest.
Honestly, Im not even surprised. This is peak absurdity. Just…a deer. In a river. And everyones acting like weve discovered the cure for baldness. Give me strength.
