The Universe Rewards Mediocrity, Naturally
Seriously? A doctor’s appointment and a lottery ticket? Is this supposed to be inspiring? Its just another testament to how the cosmos actively conspires to mock my existence. Two friends – because of course its a pair, reinforcing the sheer absurdity of shared good fortune – were on their way to… presumably address some minor ailment. Something easily remedied with sensible lifestyle choices and preventative care. Instead, they chose shiny paper rectangles filled with false hope. And won.
Of course they did! Because why not? Why should someone diligently saving for retirement, or volunteering at a soup kitchen, or, I don’t know, exhibiting any semblance of moral fiber, strike gold? No, lets celebrate two people whose biggest decision in life was whether to buy a scratch-off or a Powerball. Its practically poetic justice for everyone who ever diligently filed their taxes and didnt win.
I bet they’ll spend it on sensible things too. A slightly larger SUV. Maybe some granite countertops. Probably an assortment of vaguely charitable donations just to ease the guilt. And then, years later, we’ll hear about how their sudden wealth ruined their lives. Because thats always the follow-up story, isnt it?
Just fantastic. Really. Absolutely wonderful for them. Im thrilled. Truly. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go yell at a cloud.
