The Price of Sparkling Clean (Apparently, Your Freedom)
Let’s just take a moment to appreciate the pinnacle of modern convenience: the automatic car wash. A supposedly quick and easy way to spruce up your ride. Except, apparently, sometimes its also a meticulously engineered trap designed by sadists with a penchant for spinning brushes.
A woman in Waynesboro recently discovered this charming truth firsthand when a “system malfunction” – their words, not mine – left her and her vehicle imprisoned within the sudsy confines of a local car wash for nearly an hour! An hour! Do you know how much one can accomplish in an hour? I could have reorganized my spice rack. I could have learned conversational Klingon. But no, this poor woman was stuck, presumably listening to the repetitive whirring of machinery while contemplating her life choices.
A system malfunction. How delightfully vague. Was it a rogue squirrel chewing through wires? A sentient foam cannon staging a rebellion? We may never know. What we do know is that somewhere, someone is laughing about this. Probably the owner, counting his money while imagining customers frantically pounding on windows.
And let’s be honest, whats the solution here? File a formal complaint? Demand compensation for emotional distress and potential car detailing bills? I suspect my efforts would be met with shrugs and another vague explanation involving unforeseen circumstances. Just another example of how “convenience” often comes at the expense of common sense.
