Really? Ice Skaters Now? Seriously?
Lets just pause for a moment, shall we? Because apparently, common sense is officially on vacation somewhere warm and sunny. We’re hearing reports of Vermont State Police and the U.S. Coast Guard – yes, the same organization that rescues sailors from capsized yachts – being dispatched to… rescue ice skaters. Ice. Skaters. On a drifting sheet of ice.
Honestly, Im trying to process this. Do these people not possess basic observational skills? Does the concept of frozen water and its inherent instability simply sail right over their heads? Were they planning on performing a synchronized skating routine for an audience of confused ducks? Because that’s about all I can imagine justifying such a reckless display of idiocy.
And now we, the taxpayers, are footing the bill for this elaborate extraction operation. Resources meant for genuine emergencies – you know, like actual disasters involving boats and people in peril – were diverted to chaperone five individuals who decided it was an excellent idea to play ice hockey with Mother Nature.
Im sure they had a very good reason. Perhaps they were documenting the existential beauty of human folly? Or maybe they just weren’t paying attention. Either way, I sincerely hope someone handed them a pamphlet on risk assessment before letting them near another frozen pond.
