A Cow, a Cowboy, and My Diminishing Faith in Humanity
Seriously? A cow? Wandering around Florida? Im trying to maintain some semblance of composure here, folks. Apparently, while I’ve been diligently paying my taxes and attempting to navigate the existential dread that comes with modern life, a bovine escape artist has decided to take a leisurely stroll through residential areas near a grocery store. And what does society respond with? A cowboy. On a horse.
Are you kidding me?!
I envision the scene: bewildered shoppers dodging manure, car alarms blaring, and this…this gentleman in chaps, galloping across asphalt like we’re suddenly living in a Wild West reenactment. Im sure he felt incredibly heroic, lassoing Bessie back into her pen while Instagrammers documented the whole thing. Because of course they did.
It’s just…peak ridiculousness. A literal cow, disrupting traffic and prompting a full-blown equestrian intervention. Meanwhile, actual problems fester, politicians bicker, and Im supposed to be impressed by this pastoral spectacle? Give me strength. I needed a strong cup of coffee and a serious dose of reality after reading that headline. Just when I thought things couldn’t get any more absurd…a cow. And a cowboy. What next? A flock of rogue flamingos demanding equal rights?
