Victorian Footwear: Because Plastic Straws Werent Dramatic Enough
Honestly, can anything be more thrilling than another historic discovery dredged from a Welsh beach? Apparently, hundreds of shoes. Shoes! Like we haven’t got enough to worry about – rising sea levels swallowing coastal towns, microplastics invading every ecosystem imaginable – and now we’re supposed to be impressed by footwear that once graced the feet of some long-dead Victorian gent or lady?
Seriously. Its a pile of old shoes. A pile. The press release gushes about remarkable preservation and potential insights into Victorian life. Insights! We already know they wore shoes, people! And probably complained about the dampness just as much as we do now. I’m sure meticulously cataloging each scuffed heel will revolutionize our understanding of 19th-century podiatry.
I mean, its a nice distraction, I suppose, from all the real problems facing the world. A convenient little story to make us feel good about picking up litter while ignoring the fact that the ocean is rapidly becoming a giant plastic soup and these antique boots are just another symptom of our relentless consumption and subsequent disregard for the planet.
Let’s be honest, its all terribly performative. “Look! We found history!” when what we really need to find is some actual solutions. Ill stick to collecting plastic bottles, thank you very much. At least they represent a current crisis.
