Rhode Island’s Lizard Problem: Because Apparently, Anything Can Be Buried in Snow Now
Seriously? A lizard? In Rhode Island? Buried in snow?! Is this some elaborate prank orchestrated by bored teenagers with too much time and a penchant for dramatic flair? Because Im finding it incredibly difficult to believe that a large exotic lizard just decided to take up residence beneath a blanket of winter precipitation.
Apparently, some gentleman – bless his heart, he probably thought he was rescuing a damsel in distress – spotted this cold-blooded anomaly from his driveway and felt compelled to whisk it inside. Because, naturally, the best course of action is to bring a potentially invasive, undoubtedly confused, and likely quite stressed reptile into your home! Did nobody consider calling someone? A professional? Anyone with even a modicum of common sense?
I’m just picturing the poor thing, shivering in its snowy grave, then being abruptly plucked from its icy slumber and deposited onto a plush living room rug. The sheer absurdity of it all! Its enough to make one question everything. Next thing you know well be hearing about penguins waddling through Providence or polar bears sunbathing on Block Island.
Honestly, this isn’t surprising anymore. We live in an era where logic and reason seem optional extras. A lizard in the snow? Perfectly normal! Just another Tuesday.
