Seriously? A Tall Dog? Groundbreaking.
Let’s just pause for a moment, shall we? Apparently, the world is now in desperate need of knowing that a Great Dane in Connecticut is… tall. Exceptionally tall, you see. Three feet and two inches! The sheer magnitude of this achievement warrants international recognition, apparently. Because clearly, we havent enough trivialities to occupy our time with already.
I mean, really? We’re celebrating canine height now? What’s next, a parade for the longest cat whisker? A medal ceremony for the fluffiest poodle? I suppose someone had to find something to fill the void left by… well, everything else that actually matters. The climate crisis, political unrest, crippling student debt – all eclipsed by this glorious monument to selective breeding and sheer genetic luck.
And a female Great Dane! As if we needed another reason for headlines. Its almost insulting to every other extraordinary animal out there—the rescue dog who overcomes adversity, the therapy dog providing comfort, the working dog saving lives. No, let’s focus on this one dog standing slightly higher than usual.
I bet its food bill is astronomical too. Probably eats more than I do. Just fantastic. Im sure its a delightful companion, but can we please move onto something with a little more substance?
