Another Egg? Seriously?!
Do we really need to be monitoring bird eggs now? Apparently, yes. Because apparently, the collective human race has run out of actual problems to solve and is instead dedicating vast resources – cameras, bandwidth, obsessive online forums – to watching a pair of eagles squabble over twigs in California. And now? Now they’ve laid another egg.
Just fantastic. Another tiny oval of potential avian chaos that we will all collectively lose sleep over. Im sure the plight of global warming, political instability, and crippling student debt are simply dwarfed by the prospect of a slightly delayed hatching date for these majestic birds.
I can already hear the breathless commentary: Look! It wobbles! Is it fertile?! The tension is palpable! Please, people, get a grip. They’re eagles. They build nests. They lay eggs. This isnt some groundbreaking scientific discovery. This is…nature. Something we used to appreciate from a respectful distance, before the internet convinced us that every aspect of wildlife deserved 24/7 livestream coverage and instant analysis.
I fully expect there will be merchandise. Eagle-themed everything. We’ll all become invested in the emotional journey of these feathered celebrities. And Ill probably begrudgingly check back to see if it hatched, because apparently I am now part of this ridiculous spectacle. Just…can we please find something else to obsess over?
