The Universes Subtle Joke: A $350,000 Christmas Miracle (For One Person)
Seriously? A Christmas Day lottery win? As if the relentless barrage of twinkling lights and aggressively cheerful carols wasn’t already enough to induce a low-grade existential crisis, now we get this. Apparently, the cosmos decided someone needed a little boost amidst all the consumerist frenzy. Fantastic.
Because what else was she going to do? Just… live her life normally? Work diligently? Contribute meaningfully to society? Heavens no! Clearly, she needed a windfall of half a million dollars, bestowed upon her by chance and random numbers printed on a piece of paper. Its just so refreshing.
I’m sure she’ll use it wisely. Probably buy a solid gold snow globe collection or something equally practical. Or perhaps fund research into more efficient methods for generating holiday-themed animatronics. The possibilities are endless, and all funded by the collective hopes (and money) of countless other people who will continue to work tirelessly while she… well, presumably celebrates.
Its not unfair, I guess. Just… a rather pointed reminder that sometimes, pure, unadulterated luck reigns supreme. And my eggnog tastes suspiciously watery.
