$3.25 Million for a Near-Miss Obituary? Seriously?!
So, lets just unpack this delightful bit of news from a Detroit suburb, shall we? A young woman, declared dead, shipped off in a body bag, and then… surprise! She was alive. Apparently blinking slowly and hoping nobody noticed. And the payout for this monumental screw-up? A cool $3.25 million. Because apparently, almost being buried alive is worth more than a decent down payment on a house these days.
Im not even sure where to begin with the absurdity of it all. Did they run any tests? Did anyone, anyone, check for a pulse beyond a cursory glance? Were they just so eager to wrap things up and go home after a long day of pretending to care? I’m picturing a hastily-signed death certificate and a shrug.
And the family? Bless their hearts. They get $3.25 million to soothe the trauma of nearly losing their daughter, who was already considered deceased. Its supposed to make it better, right? Like money can erase the sheer terror of being zipped into a plastic bag and wheeled toward eternal darkness.
Honestly, I expect incompetence these days, but this…this takes the cake. It’s not just negligence; it’s a masterclass in bureaucratic apathy. Perhaps next time, they could invest in a slightly more thorough examination before sealing up the casket. Just a thought.
