The Absurdity Has a Name: SantaGate
Seriously? People are protesting the removal of an inflatable Santa Claus? A twenty-eight FOOT inflatable Santa! Are we living in a performance art piece I somehow missed the memo for? Apparently, this behemoth of plastic cheer has been a neighborhood fixture for years. Years! And now, some self-appointed arbiter of good taste – likely someone who decorates with tasteful burlap and minimalist pine cones – decided it was too much. Too festive? Too jolly? Is happiness itself now a punishable offense?
The sheer dedication required to mobilize a neighborhood against the removal of a giant inflatable is frankly astounding. I mean, youre telling me people banded together, organized petitions, and generally made a fuss… over Santa? While wildfires rage and infrastructure crumbles, we’re losing our collective minds over an oversized Christmas decoration!
And they won. Of course they did. Because apparently, the right to plaster your yard with blinking lights and a monument to consumerism is now a protected freedom. Bravo, Colorado. Youve officially set a new bar for prioritizing the trivial. I fully expect next week’s headline to be about a passionate defense of lawn gnomes. Prepare yourselves. It never ends.
