The Peak of Human Achievement: Mistletoe and Mass Kissing
Seriously? This is what were celebrating now? One thousand, four hundred and thirty-five couples smooching under a parasitic plant to etch their names into the annals of…what, exactly? Record-breaking absurdity? Because that’s precisely what this feels like.
I suppose in a world desperately searching for meaning amidst genuine crises – you know, things like climate change or political instability – we have to find joy in meticulously staged displays of affection. Lets applaud the sheer organizational effort required to coordinate so many simultaneous lip-locks! The permits! The mistletoe procurement! The designated kissing zones! I bet there were spreadsheets. Spreadsheets, people!
And for what? A fleeting moment of internet fame before everyone moves on to the next manufactured spectacle? I can practically hear the celebratory fanfare now, followed by the collective shrug as we realize nothing truly profound has been accomplished. Its just…kissing. Under mistletoe. With a lot of other people doing the exact same thing.
Honestly, I’m picturing the scene: awkward pauses, forced smiles, and the lingering scent of desperation for validation. A monument to performative romance. Please tell me we have better things to worry about than documenting this utterly pointless exercise in public display.
