Seriously? Cowboys? For Cattle on I-70?
Okay, folks, lets just sit with this for a moment. Missouri. Interstate 70. A crash. And the solution? Actual, honest-to-goodness cowboys. Are we living in a bizarre performance art piece now? Because I’m genuinely questioning reality. Apparently, thirteen bovine escapees required the expertise of individuals whose primary skill set involves lassoing and herding livestock. Not HAZMAT teams. Not animal control with specialized equipment. Cowboys.
I mean, I get it, theyre good at what they do. Wrangling cattle is a tradition! A heritage! But honestly, couldn’t someone have just…opened the gate? Maybe bribed them with apples? Surely a well-placed box of donuts could have coaxed those cows back onto a trailer faster than a posse of Stetson-wearing heroes galloping across the highway.
The image is just…ridiculous. Im picturing bewildered drivers, stuck in traffic, filming this spectacle for TikTok while muttering about the absurdity of it all. Look at the cowboys! they’re probably saying. “This is my life now.”
And dont even get me started on the logistics! Where did they find these cowboys? Were there cowboy reserves just waiting to be deployed when a trailer full of cattle decides to stage a highway rebellion? I need answers. And possibly therapy.
