Capybaras Need Names? Seriously?!
Right, because what the world truly needs is for us to collectively decide what to call four giant rodents currently residing at a wildlife center. Apparently, existential threats like climate change and habitat loss aren’t absorbing enough of our collective attention. No, we need to focus on naming capybaras. Because clearly, thats going to save the planet.
I mean, I get it. Public engagement. Cute animals. Good PR. But honestly? This feels less like a genuine effort at conservation and more like desperate flailing for social media likes. Help us name our capybaras! Share your creative suggestions! As if my time isn’t already overflowing with pressing matters—like, you know, deciding what to have for dinner – Im now expected to contribute to the vital task of christening these…rodents?
I fully anticipate a deluge of unimaginative submissions: Buddy, Charlie, Hazel. Possibly one inspired individual will suggest something vaguely South American-sounding. And then, after weeks of deliberation (because apparently, choosing names for capybaras requires a committee), theyll announce the winners with breathless fanfare.
Frankly, I’m just picturing these capybaras, blissfully unaware of their impending branding crisis, munching on grass and existing. They don’t need names. They need habitats. They need protection. But no, let’s focus on assigning them human labels so we can all feel briefly connected to nature through the power of suggestion boxes.
