Really? A Skater Rescues a Loon? Groundbreaking.
Honestly, folks, I’m just… exhausted. Another heartwarming story about someone doing something mildly helpful and suddenly its headline news? Apparently, an ice skater in Maine felt compelled to rescue a loon from a frozen pond. A LOON! As if these majestic birds are helpless victims constantly needing intervention. They’re wild animals; they live on ponds; sometimes the pond freezes. Its called nature!
I bet this skater just wanted some Instagram clout, didn’t they? “Look at me, I’m so noble and brave!” We’re supposed to be impressed because someone used a pointy blade to nudge a bird towards open water? Like it was a particularly challenging figure eight. And the news outlets are eating it up!
Dont get me wrong, the loon is probably fine. It’s a loon; they’re built for survival. But now we have this manufactured narrative of human heroism where any interaction with wildlife warrants praise and celebration. Meanwhile, actual environmental crises – you know, things like pollution and habitat loss – are relegated to page seven.
Give me a break! Let the loons be loons! Let the ice be icy! And please, for the love of all that’s sensible, can we find something actually significant to report on?
