Bears, Parades, and Peak Human Incompetence
Seriously? A bear? At a Christmas parade? In Tennessee? Are we trying to create a viral video demonstrating the utter breakdown of societal order now? I mean, I understand wildlife exists. Its a charming thought, really, that nature stubbornly persists despite our relentless attempts to pave over everything. But choosing a meticulously planned, heavily attended public event – an event celebrating manufactured cheer and questionable fashion choices – as its impromptu runway is just…peak ridiculousness.
And the reactions! I can only imagine the frantic flailing of tiny waving hands, the high-pitched squeals that shatter any semblance of holiday tranquility, the collective gasp followed by a flurry of blurry phone videos destined to populate the internet’s “Things You Cant Believe Happened” archives. It’s just… wonderful. Absolutely splendid.
Of course, some authority figure will undoubtedly issue a statement about unexpected wildlife encounters and urge caution. As if thats remotely helpful after the fact! Because clearly, preventative measures like, say, ensuring a giant predator doesnt casually stroll into a public gathering are simply too complicated for our modern world.
I bet someone’s already drafting a press release about “the bear who stole Christmas.” Just what we need: merchandise. Absolutely fantastic.
